Maybe I Am...

Date: 9th Feb 2010 (Tuesday)

I've never thought I'd be blogging here again...

It's rather dead here, so why not?

Since my emotional rollercoaster has been raging non-stop exclusively.

Thus, this shall be a "dumping ground" post:


1) To the World:

BFF/PARTNERS does not exist in Jasmine's dictionary.

I just hope that people would stop taking my soft-heartedness for granted.

My life is a mess.

The World didn't turn against me, I did.


2) To L:

It's not easy to establish friendship & then being accused of taking love for granted.

I'm still not ready for accepting the friendship back.

Leave me alone.


3) To N:

Maybe you are right, that I am a great big jerk in your life.

To clarify, I sincerely apologise for wasting your precious time on our collaborations.

If you'd be happier to work with new acquiantances from now on, please do so.

I have no further clarifications.

Guilty as charged.


4) To D:

I'm confused.

What do I expect from you? I'm really unsure of it myself.

I'm blinded between admiration / likings for you.

As long as you're happy, it doesn't matter to me anymore.

So I'm letting it go...

Ciao~

It's just another...crying-out, free-falling session.

I just got this feeling for sgcafe, similar to the times I felt when I gave up on sgracer & idas....

The same thing happened in sgracer, playing idas no longer is a fun thing where you get to meet friends, talk cock, play & laugh together.

Fun, is gradually vaporizing...it seems that only the one located at the 'top of the pyramid' pwnz all.

It became a competition.

Friends, turn into foes. Games, turn into serious business.

Will hobbies - that helps one past time, evolve to that too?

I certainly hope that it would not happen.

Emptyness, again.

Gosh, this feeling is seriously freaking me out.

I absolutely don't desire to live a dead life.

SOMEBODY, PLEASE SAVE ME.

[DESPAIR]
- As one cries out, there's only the echo of silence. -

[EMPTYNESS]
- As though free-falling in darkness, never knowing when/where one would land. -

Moody? No...moodless... D:

Yay! Tomorrow is Monday & I get to go to work! Yay~! \(^^)/ *rolls eyes* WTH#$%#$%$#...

Anyway, just a random post/rant cos' i'm kinda tired...

Should I absent myself from SOY'09 & just attend CC'09 as civilian?

Should I just start cosing TYL 18 at Cosfest'09 Day 01?

Should I just quit the idea of cosing Arcabaleno Reborn at Cosfest'09 Day 02?

Should I just quit cosplay & focus on BJD?

Should I just quit EVERYTHING & go on with my ANCIENT, DOWN-TO-EARTH, NO FANTASY ADULT LIFE???

So many ???... What should be my decision?

Maybe I do share some similarities with Hibari...lonely Cloud Guardian of the Vongola...a lonely soul forever...

Hitoribochi no Sadame = Destiny of Solitude...